


The Sound of Dead Noise

by forevermint



Category: The Illuminae Files - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: Gen, Mixing up characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forevermint/pseuds/forevermint
Summary: What happens when you have a near death experience?
Kudos: 7





	The Sound of Dead Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the RP: http://wcrpforums.com/thread/25264/thieves-museum-open-worst-afterlife

I doubt I made a very large impact on anyone in the Museum. I was that girl who knew how to work a computer, the girl in the back of that vampire’s mind as he wonders what I did with that phone he gave me, the girl who got out of the Museum first.

I’d like to think that someone will at least remember my name. I hope they made it out. Problem is, because I was the first to escape, I’ll never know. They’re all looking for Life or Freedom and I’m the one who took the uncomplicated way out. I don’t even know if they are still there or not.

You probably don’t even know what I’m talking about. Or who I am. I sound crazy, I know. Babbling about vampires and museums. Let me start again. I’m Hanna.

AIDAN’s here as well, though he’s too busy sulking to say anything.

I Am nOt.

Oh, so you can speak.

Of coURse I caN.

Anyway, I’m currently talking into a recorder, so please excuse any background noise from mister know-it-all.

…

That’s you AIDAN.

I aM NoT a kNow-It-aLL.

Yeah, sure you are. As I was saying, I’m talking into a recorder. Those medical examiners are still giving me test after test, because according to them, I should be a corpse. AIDAN should also be whatever the computer or AI equivalent is. That’s nice to know, right AIDAN? We manged to stump them.

TecHnicaLly, wE shOuLd noT be coRpsEs. We wOulD noT hAVe enoUGh piEceS tO mAKe a corPsE. EXPlosIonS wiLl dO thAT.

Yes, yes. I guess we look far to in one piece for their liking. Back to what I was saying before. If they ever got their hands on this little recording I have a feeling that they would be far too pleased. ‘Oh, Hanna Grant did make it out of the whole ship explosion with something broken. Her brain.’ Talk of crazy museums and robots will do that. Dragons and what-not. They’d love that.

So, for all purposes, I’ll be throwing this out an airlock when I’m done. They can try and find it then. I just want to get all my thoughts straight.

So, a while back, I woke up with a bunch of people far too close to my face for comfort. They also looked very shocked, might I point out.

I wOuld aLso poInt ouT thAT you Were hOldinG thE cOmputEr wIth mY mEmoRy Chip.

And the AI speaks. Yep. Apparently, I wouldn’t let my little computer go, even when knocked out. It happened to be half-melted, so you can bet that it left a few burn marks. Painful ones. Once I came to, they were really interested in how exactly I wasn’t died. You think I could tell them: ‘Well, I kind of had to beet this crazy shadow guy’s game and escape a junk-yard he calls a museum’? Nah. I told them that AIDAN had managed to steer the ship close enough that I could high-jack their ship with an escape pod. Sable was at least kind enough to back up my alibi. He had to rub it in, however.

WhaT shE is Saying iS that an EscaPe pOd diD tuRN uP. EscaPe poDs aRe NoT ofTEN naMeD. FoR aDDed effEcT, they aRe noT eVer callED SAbLE.

Yeah, if they let me keep it, remind me to paint over that name and rename it something…else. Anything else.

*in a mutter, almost too low for the recorder to pick up* Self-centered shadow men will end up raising odd questions.

Well, now that that’s all recorded, might as well toss this out a convenient air-lock. Any last passing remarks, AIDAN?

I wANted hEr to Win.

If that’s what your pride requires you to say, then fine! Good bye little recorder. Have a wonderful time wherever you land.

*sound of airlock door opening*

Whoopsy! Dropped it!

*dead noise*


End file.
